I know we are not to mention numbers, calories or weights in the forum, therefore I will not inform you of my weight or weight gain. However, I hope it is still possible to use the forum to ask questions about weight gain in the process of recovery.
What has happened is this: One week ago I admitted myself into treatment at an eating disorder clinic ("hospital"), and my stay here will last for a little more than 3 months. I have been given a food plan which shall help me get back to a normal weight and have neither binged nor purged this week. The last time I purged was the night before I entered the hospital.
My question is this: My current weight is much higher than my weight the day I was admitted, i.e. 7 days ago. Those of us who need to gain weight have signed an agreement that we have to gain between 700 gram and 2 kg every week, but I have gained over twice the amount of 2 kg. I have read a lot about recovery from bulimia and I feel quite certain that a great part of my weight gain is due to water retention. Nevertheless, although at the moment I am laughing at the whole thing, because I find the number on the scale just so ridiculously high, at the same time I have the sensation that a feeling of uncertainty is sneaking up on me. I want so much to recover from my bulimia/atypical anorexia, but I am afraid that I will become really scared if my weight continue increasing at this pace for the next couple of weeks.
I could really need some support right now. I really, really want to recover; I am 35 years old and I have developed osteoporosis, which scares me, and I have a PhD in sociology which I have not been able to "use" for the last two years, because of my terrible eating disorder setback (I first developed anorexia at the age of 15 and then bulimia at the age of 16). I have a strong wish to get my work capacity back and to stop my osteoporosis from progressing. If I discharge my self from this eating disorder clinic I know I will not be able to follow the food plan on my own, and most likely my weight will plummet once more.
Please, any advice for how to cope with this situation and any insight or experiences into weight gain in the first few weeks of treatment from bulimia/atypical anorexia, is greatly appreciated.