Is recovering at my own pace bad? I mean i am not fasting or doing anything absurd.
I just feel like my family really puts pressure on me to recover at a certain date/time and i KNOW i have had this for a long time. this is the first time in my life however, well in the past 10 years that i've struggled with this illness..that i feel i can really recover. but why can't i take it in my own course?
I also don't understand, why do I feel the need to PROVE my recovery? To anyone? I feel it with my parents, its never good enough. I feel I make so much success or progress when I think about it, and how far I have come - but no one else sees it. It's not good enough for my roommate who still probably thinks (and said it verbatim to me) 'You are not trying hard enough.'
These people don't understand at all how complex the ED is and our relationships to food.
I am trying and then it's never good enough.
So, today I'm utterly confused and don't know how or where to pick up the pieces.
I'm just in tears, hope I can at least sleep for a bit.