I have been living in "bulimia" hell for more than half my life. It has broken me and those around me. I have struggled with recovery for the last two years. I thought I could do it on my own and I failed. I can no longer live in this hell but am terrified of leaving it as it is the only place I know. One of the hardest things for me to do is to ask for support, guidance and help. I feel the first step in true recovery is asking for help.. so here I am asking for help. Am reading the book and the one thing I know is true is that restriction leads to bingening, and bulimia leads to weight gain. I think for me its no longer about being thin its rather about the numbing / and the emotional release of binging and purging. I think that is why its been so hard of me to let go of it . Reading others testimonials on this site, shows me there is hope for me and there is a way out of this bulimia hell and this hope is my only light in a very dark tunnel.