New and trying to leave "Bulimia Hell"

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Sarahb
Sarahb's picture
New and trying to leave "Bulimia Hell"

I have been living in "bulimia" hell for more than half my life. It has broken me and those around me. I have struggled with recovery for the last two years. I thought I could do it on my own and I failed. I can no longer live in this hell but am terrified of leaving it as it is the only place I know. One of the hardest things for me to do is to ask for support, guidance and help. I feel the first step in true recovery is asking for help.. so here I am asking for help. Am reading the book and the one thing I know is true is that restriction leads to bingening, and bulimia leads to weight gain. I think for me its no longer about being thin its rather about the numbing / and the emotional release of binging and purging. I think that is why its been so hard of me to let go of it . Reading others testimonials on this site, shows me there is hope for me and there is a way out of this bulimia hell and this hope is my only light in a very dark tunnel.

Angel333
Angel333's picture
Bulimia has consumed more

Bulimia has consumed more than half my life to date so I fully understand where you are coming from here. Your in the right place. We are all in this together but ultimately the only person who can truly help you is yourself.
You know what you want. A life free from Bulimia. So do it!
Don't give in to the urges, I know that's easier said than done. But have an action plan for wen urges hit. Staying busy is a must in the early days, but you must remember to give yourself time to rest and relax and re evaluate your life and what you want it to be.

You can do this. You have made the first step. Onwards and upwards :)

'We are each of us angels with only one wing, so we can only fly by embracing each other'

Dana
Dana's picture
Angel333, you have a great

Angel333, you have a great point. Keeping busy does help. I need to stay busier.
Thank you.

Dana

Li Nav
Li Nav's picture
I find that when I don't have

I find that when I don't have an action plan for right after a meal/snack, the potential for me to binge increases exponentially. If I have a commitment right after I am done eating, I move on with my day. STRUCTRED EATING and STRUCTURED DAY are key right now.

Lianne

Jaded Lime
Jaded Lime's picture
Sarahb~ Somewhere deep down

Sarahb~

Somewhere deep down is a healthy intuitive eater. When you were a child before society pushed their ideals on you, you were eating what you wanted, when you were hungry and stopping at satisfaction with out bulimia. Bulimia makes us feel like we are trapped forever and that it is all we know to do, but this is a lie. Start to get back in touch with yourself before bulimia. Heres how to start: Structured eating. Make sure you eat every 3-4 hours. Eat a protein, a fat and a carbohydrate. At first it will seem like a lot of food but soon you will learn that it takes away the binge urge. Its so nice to live life free of the binge urge. Choose foods that will satisfy your cravings and that you feel comfortable eating. Reject the dieting mentality. Dont let your thoughts condemn you of your choices or anyone else condemn you for your food choices. Just eat. Hydrate yourself. Get plenty of sleep. Nurture yourself. You will start to feel better and better over time. Keep reading the book. Keep moving forward! Im so glad you reached out for help! You are right, that is the first step. Youre already on the right track.

Love alone is worth the fight. - Jon Foreman

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