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JLB
JLB's picture
New Member

Hi, i am new here. Not sure where to start. i need support friends. Have been struggling for 20 years and I am quite tired, For once, I can honnestly say that i am ready to heal. Many times before, I was kidding myself... trying therapy, but inside I just wanted to stay dangerously skinny more then anything else. i prefered to be sick then to gain wait, It,s over now. I want to live. I want to love. I want to laugh and have fun and share joy with others. But i am discouraged. I have injured my body.. I feel sad and scared that it might be too late. i already gained weight and I am pretty much over the anxiety about this. But my brain is still obsessed all the time. how do I go back to a peaceful state of mind?

Marie4969
Marie4969's picture
Please message me! I am

Please message me! I am scared, too and would love to talk! I have been struggling for 7 years, coming up on 8 soon and just now seeking support and help. I fall off when I beging to gain. All this is so frightening!

JLB
JLB's picture
Last few days are rocky.

Last few days are rocky. Crying a lot. Still in the cycle... but I feel things are shifting on an emotional level. I dreamed of Her - Bulimia- she was a woman. She was me. Another me. I talked to her. She was sad, nervous, neurotic, and she felt rejected. I took her in my arms. Told her thanked her for our journey, and that now I felt it was time to go our separate ways. I held her and cradled her, I tried to make her feel loved. instead of hating her and rejecting her like I always did, I realised that making peace and choosing to part peacefully was an easier way. I feel calm. Empowered. I was looking calmly at my food: no envy to shove it in!!! :-)
Thank you for your friendship request.

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