Night time binge and purge

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dreamer8
dreamer8's picture
Night time binge and purge

So, during the day I'm so dedicated to recovery, I eat healthy, every 3 hours etc and ignore my cravings.. Then the evening rolls around and I binge so bad, and then purge. All the while I'm thinking in my head I don't need to do this I shouldn't do this, yet I go ahead somehow and find myself doing it anyways.... Recovery is seeming impossible to me at this point :(

Chasing dreams..

Jumper
Jumper's picture
I, too, stuggle with night

I, too, stuggle with night time b&P after eating well all day. I know where you are coming from with feeling hopeless, BUT....don't give up. Especially on your dreams!

I am finding that staying present with my thoughts, feelings, fullness around mealtimes is very helpful. But, of course, not always easy! I use to think i should distract or calm myself before eating dinnerr, like with a yoga class or a run. But so often, I would be even more tired or hungry and just as prone to binge. The only true thing that helps me, (and i have a long way to go still but am sharing this with you anyway) is presence of mind. Being mindful of my emotions and actkions....really Paying Attention, and Telling myself that purging is not going to be an option for this one night --- helps me to eat in a more responsible (to my health) way.

Planning healthy meals ahead and knowing there is a small dessert, like a tootsie pop, for after dinner, helps me from overeating dinner and then feeling too full. And then throwing in the towel.

Could you be slightly undereating in the day and just truly hungry at night? Or just exhausted from your day and needing release?
My best friend told me that I hold it together all day, being super mom, and super teacher, and super wife....and it was NO WONDER
I sought some release at night. (Even if it was unhealthy)

Anyway...i just wanted to reach out and encourage you not to give up on yourself/dreams...hopefully you dont feel i am too preachy.
Take care!

Jumper

dreamer8
dreamer8's picture
Thank you! I could slightly

Thank you! I could slightly be under eating but it certainly doesn't feel like it. I appreciate the encouraging words and will
Try to become more present as you said.

Wishing you well in your recovery!

Chasing dreams..

Sunflower880
Sunflower880's picture
HI Dreamer8, I too have the

HI Dreamer8, I too have the same issues. I'll feel fully recovered during the day, but the night time is really hard, especially during times of stress. I'd appreciate any tips form other members as one cannot distract oneself all the time.

sjksus
sjksus's picture
Making sure your getting

Making sure your getting enough calories during the day is huge! But that's only a physical part of recovery. The mind binge urges also have to be addressed. It's silly, but I'll tell you my story....for quite a while in my early part of recovery, I used to give myself permission to binge on a safe food at my bedtime snack. Knowing that I could do that at the end of the day gave me strength to fight the urges the rest of the time. Oatmeal was a safe food for me and every night for at least a month I made a large pot of watered down oatmeal on the stove and binged on that. I knew the calorie content wasn't insanely large. The huge amount of food in my belly calmed my mind binge urge and the warmth from the hot soupy oatmeal gave me comfort and sent me off to sleep after I laid down. I'm not advocating purposeful binges, but just getting to know yourself and do what's right for you in order to support recovery and moving forward. For me, only overfilling my belly once a day was huge progress and only binging on a safe food was huge progress. I knew that I wouldn't do it forever, but it was a tool that helped me cope and eventually my pots of oatmeal got smaller and smaller because I no longer desired to have that much food in my stomach. It actually can get to that point! Where too much food is uncomfortable rather than desirable. Good luck to you all!

Facethesun
Facethesun's picture
I experienced this pattern as

I experienced this pattern as well. Fine all day until I got home in the evening.
I have been bp free now for 7months. The very first steps I took was I made a rule for myself - that I could only eat at the dining room table and nowhere else. As I had tended to binge on the sofa in front of the tv... And it helped soooo much!
Not only did I eat at the table, but I didn't do anything but eat... Not texting no Facebook, etc etc. I found this really made me present when I ate. It made meal time a different experience.
Give it a try it might just work for you too!

Turn you face to the sun, and let the darkness fall behind.

vikinggirl
vikinggirl's picture
That is a weak time for all

That is a weak time for all of us. What helps me is to do something with my hands like knit, fold laundry or play solitaire on my phone in front of the tv. Maybe you save your daily treat for that time. For me it's half a Klondike bar or something safe that's sweet. I then brush my teeth so i don't feel like eating. Petting a cat or dog on your lap also helps. Best of luck!

Sick since 1976

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