why won't i let anyone touch me?
i don't even like my mom to hug me or kiss me on the forehead.
i had a boyfriend for almost a year in highschool and i never wanted to just cuddle with him and i've always hated holding hands or and affection in public. it makes me feel DISGUSTING and makes me disgusted with them as well.
i can only assume this also has something to do with the self-loathing tendencies that make me overeat and then beat myself up about it.
but i don't exactly understand the relation. i've hated being sappy in public for as long as i can remember, but then again, same goes for hating my body. i don't remember which came first. and i certainly don't know why.
does anyone else feel this way and have any ideas where it came from??