Pregnant and starting recovery

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out4abit
out4abit's picture
Pregnant and starting recovery

I am 6 mos preggo with my 3rd child. Just told my husband about 10 years of bulimia and are now trying to kick it. At good times in my life, i could go mos without b/p. At bad times, it would be everynight (if my husband was out of town, etc).

I am hungry all the time (or at least I think I am). I think I have always been like this b/c I can't trust myself to decide if I am hungry so I just eat and if I am then too full, i purge. SO freaking sad.

Anyway, if anyone else has been through recovery while pregoo, give me a shout out with tips.

out4abit

lindsay6
lindsay6's picture
I found when I was pregnant

I found when I was pregnant my bulimia got a lot better. I am not sure why its almost like nature working with me to get me through the pregnancy. Growing a human is hard work! I found with my bulimia my hunger was in overdrive too. In recovery I got some relief from that after a couple of months of being very careful with SE. I think in the middle of our disease our hunger is in high gear because our body is confused about where its going to get the next meal and if it is staying or going. Nature has a way of fighting us and hunger always wins. So for me following SE meant eating every three hours and a combination of protein, carb, and fat. It is hard at first but so worth it.

When you are going through hell, keep going.

out4abit
out4abit's picture
Thanks Lindsay. Mine got

Thanks Lindsay. Mine got better during pregnancy #1 but by #3 I don't think its much better then pre-pregnancy. My hubby went out of town and when he came back I realized I had b/p every night he was gone, not good. That is when I finally told him.

Watching my diet is definitely my key. Like anything, it just takes time and planning (what will I eat and when). You are right though, hunger always wins. I am absolutely gaining the weight I and the baby need (which the doctor more then confirmed!), its just getting through it all in the meantime.

Lindsay - where are you in the recovery process?

out4abit

Polly-Anna
Polly-Anna's picture
I really hope that me

I really hope that me sharing this might help you :-))
I had 3 pregnancies the first one I was terrified that I may harm my baby so I ignored  all my feelings about  weight gain. I kind of weaned my self of the purging and tried to eat nutritious food for my baby . I ended up really large - fatter than I ever imagined I would be, but my boyfriend loved  me and our baby ( which i could hardly believe - of course he had no idea of my dark secret ) 
 I was so busy surviving at this time that to my amazement the breast feeding and brisk walking that I did with the pram payed dividends . A lot of the weight melted away  . The purging I'd say was maybe  once ,twice or thrice per mouth through this time in my life . 
 Pregnancy number 2, 
I was particularly happy at this time  , i excepted the inevitability of the weight gain - i just ate as healthy as i could each day to minimize the damage -  I ended up looking like i had a football up my jumper , i felt well , purging only very infrequently &  unbelievably I felt slim after I'd had my 1st boy and with the breast feeding . It was a good time . 
Number 3, 
I   SOOO loved being slim with no 2 and feared greatly the weight gain of number 1 . I think this was were the TROUBLE started ,I knew that my baby would take from me all it needed . 
I WAS not going to gain like I had the first time . I was dieting /restricting / eating healthily for the baby in-between times then restricting -then of course  binging and then bloody purging.. 
I was trying to be the best mother I could be working and doing everything else we all have to do .I was failing at everything - I was exhausted -emotional , and riding the roller coaster .
 At times I got it together but at other times I was a mess . The worst part was I felt so alone - like I was crazy /mental in the head . The beast was out of control and causing damage . I have never told anyone this .  Vomiting daily :-((((
 
I hope you can see from what I have told you , that the root of all EVIL was the will to restrict to diet and to not gain weight . 
Very little else actually changed , I loved the rest of my life but it was sadly spoilt by my bulimia .
Things that helped me were getting out in the fresh air walking with my tunes  no matter what the weather, Everyday .
Taking time to do my hair and making the monumental effort to have a  tidy and relaxing place to sit with no clutter .  Disorder in every area creates immense pressure it's worth just setting a task a day to tidy cubboard etc
Incidentally my 3rd child is the most kind hearted sensitive loving person I have ever met-he was born 13 years ago, weighing almost 10lbs and is the closest thing to an angel I have ever met . 
The thing  I would do differently is to ask for help , to this day I have never told anyone, not even my doctor . To much fear I guess .
 I think getting some kind of perspective and support for myself could have made a big difference . 
 Good luck with your number 3 

Pollyanna

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