I have noticed that as my restrictive behaviours have started coming back (I tried recovering and didn't do it properly and so now I am back here trying again), that I have started avoiding my boyfriend and my friends! But especially my boyfriend! I don't know why I am doing this! A few months ago I would be happy spending all my time with him - he is wonderful and we are very in love. But lately I have been cancelling our plans and making excuses as to why I can't sleep over or why I have to leave his house early.
Sometimes I feel like being with him means I can;t control my entire day and that I can't focus on recovery! I am very scared that I will lose him because of this! I tried to talk to him about how I am really struggling (he knows about my eating disorder) and that is why we haven't seen each other as much, but I don't think he gets it - he wants to feel like being with him comforts me. It usually does, but lately it makes me more anxious.
This has sort of spread into the rest of my life as well - I am skipping uni and hanging out in my room alone whenever I can! :( :(
Has anyone else experienced this? I'd love to chat to other people who get what I'm going through and maybe have some advice. I really don't want to be so isolated and unable to be spontaneous or to lose my amazing BF.