A question please

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Mouli's picture
A question please

I have a question and would appreciate any advice. In life we go through situations, they may be good they may be bad. If we don't like something we need to change things. Like trying to change our bulimic ways. In order to recover from bulimia we need to focus on ourselves and our emotional well being in order to help recovery.
What do you do if you can't change your circumstances which are making you unhappy??? I am doing well in my recovery again but feel bitter and twisted about my situation but there is nothing I can do about it to change it. So i just have to live with it. Will I ever be able to recover having this looming over me?
Has anyone else experienced something that they can't change and lived with it? i would love to hear about it.
Thanks , m

fuffie's picture
I ask myself the same

I ask myself the same question too, sometimes. And I've come to the conclusion, that only youself can decide what "circumstances" can be changed and what are the normal way of life with its good and bad side effects. I think maybe sometimes, thinking about recovery and caring for ourselfs in order to get healthy, makes us think that everything has to go our way, that once recovered, life around us should be just the way we want it to be. In a certain way this is true and I believe that we all, gathered here, compromised much too much in order to please and not being a burden to anyone. but still for everybody in this world there are challenges and bad days and nasty peolpe around, and everybody, healthy or not, bulimic or not, has to accept that up to a certain point. I don't know what this something is that keeps bothering you so much, in my case I sometimes wonder if I weren't better off alone, without my bf, cause he can really be egoistic and only looking after himself sometimes. I know that either way, being with him or alone, there will be days like this, when I'm so mad at him and at myself and at the world for not being like I want all this, "us", the world to be. I think we can change more then we think we know, but the question is whether trying to change the world around us or simply changing our point of view and our commitment to it is more fullfilling. Sorry if this isn't at all what you wanted to hear , it is indeed very related to myself and the situation I find myself in. But it just came out like this. Wishing you all the best! Take care

"What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it." J. Kr

Mouli's picture
Well, fuffie, I thank you for

Well, fuffie, I thank you for your response and I am trying to come to the conclusion that I just have to suck it up and be accepting of the situation. I might not always like it but maybe I need to do my best to accept it for what it is as I cannot change it. I do believe I/we compromise ourselves too much and need to take care of ourselves. But you might not be always able to change your circumstance. I think I am talking in riddles but I am trying to clear this mess in my own mind. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply and I wish YOU all the very best in the choices you need to make for yourself too. Argh! It is so hard sometimes. Take care, m

fuffie's picture
yes talking in riddles, I do

yes talking in riddles, I do that a lot too. But as long as it helps to clear our minds a little bit I am totally fine with it ;) Good luck and a lot of power to you!!!

"What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it." J. Kr

JoBlogs's picture
I think if it cant be changed

I think if it cant be changed we have to learn the best way we can to live with it.
Sometimes we simply have to stand by our past decisions & commitments. Its like that old saying 'You make your bed, you have to lie in it'.
Anything I can do to help I will lovely xxx


KenzieBear's picture
Yes i most definitely have

Yes i most definitely have something that makes me unhappy that I just cant change. -the relationship with my dad. We fight constantly and he makes me feel worthless. Also the relationship my parents have. In life we go through many struggles but what i havee learned is that i would never take anything back, and if i had the oppertunity to change my life- I wouldnt. Because it has made me the person that i am today, it has made me stronger. I believe everyone should live life without any regrets, because honestly there are things that you really cant change, so why is it worth dwelling over all the pain that it brings you.
Everyday wake up in the mirror and tell yourself that you ARE BEAUTIFUL and you are going to have a good day, ....you will.

Walk not Run:)

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