Recovery buddy and I am struggling

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Odimelodi
Odimelodi's picture
Recovery buddy and I am struggling

This one is for my recovery buddy and I .... we have been chatting to each other and checking in on each other daily. At first we promised each other a b/p free week in (honour of our birthdays) but we both fell in the same hole of staying clean the first 2 days and by the 3rd we both fell face to the floor in our eds. So now we are on one day at a time and struggle to even maintain that! Are we making too big expectations for ourselves? Any advice would be welcome!

XxX

Zahara
Zahara's picture
I don't think you are! Goal

I don't think you are! Goal wise, I think you two should try to maybe hit three days, every three days allow yourself a treat and by treat I don't necessarily mean food! It can be, but it can also be anything, a little "prize" or "present" to yourselves. The shoes you really wanted, a piece of jewelry, a shirt, makeup, a new vase, or cup, anything you see at the store that isn't a necessity. Wait until your congratulations treat day! I am day two in recovery right now, I'm hoping in the near future I don't slip up as usual and can be strong. I have decided to do this prize technique and when I'm out I won't let myself buy anything I "want" rather than need because I keep telling myself its going to have to wait until my treat day! It sounds silly but it gives me that satisfaction and appreciation that I miss since I don't really normally congratulate myself unless its a huge step!

I think we have to realize that even the little changes and the few days we go without b/p need to be appreciated and not shoved aside and seeming like failure, it only brings us down and lessens our motivation! Plus, think about it, sometimes we can't even go one day without b/p, so why not celebrate each chance we can?

xxx much love

Rose16841
Rose16841's picture
I think the most important

I think the most important thing is to try and figure out why you relapsed. Try keeping a recovery journal and write down what happened prior to the relapse and how you can avoid that next time..... it helps you identify triggering or dangerous situations and helps you stay mindful. So for example, potential triggering situations for me were being home alone, if I was really tired or stressed etc...once I identified these triggers I was more aware of when they would be a problem and could plan ahead. This is where visualisation became really important too..... it sounds really weird but try and visualise how successful your day is going to be and the recovery focused decisions you will make that day. It helps to keep you mindful and positive.
At the beginning of recovery I would always reach day 4 and then relapse. I thought I would never get over that hurdle.... but I did!! It sounds weird but make the most of a bad situation and choose to learn from those relapses and let them drive you forward in recovery!
Hope the rest of the week and weekend is a success :)

ElsieSoproni
ElsieSoproni's picture
This is ball really good

This is ball really good advice. I would just add that while your goal may be three days, don't focus on the three days. That's too much to handle at once. Break it down into smaller chunks--one day, or even one meal, and take it one at a time. I've found I've gone my longest when I wasn't actually thinking about breaking any records. I just was thinking, "tonight what is the choice I can make that will help me be healthy?" And then I focused on that evening. If you go day by day they start adding up! But absolutely don't be discouraged if you don't make your goal the first, second, or even tenth time! You'll make it! For me I messed up a lot at the beginning as I was discovering situation after situation, trigger after trigger. But I found ways that helped me cope and one day I suddenly went from four days to thirteen just because it all came together. If you learn anything at all from your relapse it is not a failure.

Odimelodi
Odimelodi's picture
Thankyou all for your

Thankyou all for your wonderful advice! We are using it thouroughly and it really does help! We are helping each other take it day by day, step by step! To me it doesn't matter how many days, what matters is the slow progress we are making and learning from our mistakes! And visualising and being mindful before difficult situations is such a great tool that i completely forgot! Thanks for that one! And i guess being kind to yourself and rewarding yourself for small milestones makes it so much more worthit on the journey! I remember when I had 2 weeks sober i rewarded myself with a teeth whitening! And it motivated me to go on more :) great advice guys!

XxX

Rose16841
Rose16841's picture
Just wondering how its all

Just wondering how its all going??!

Odimelodi
Odimelodi's picture
It went amazing this whole

It went amazing this whole week, no binging and purging and did alot of urge surfing and practising my tools. Until last night I slipped up but I know it is from tremendous stress I'm under with a huge project at work now that I need to finish in a week's time where as it would take me a month to finish the design! So the pressure is super on and I'm going to have to work through a few nights this week. So I must mentally prepare myself for project disaster as stress is my biggest, worst and most unforgiving trigger!! But I'm going to give it my best shot and do what I can. The picking at food got a bit better because I'm mindful at it and so it doesn't seem so appealing anymore. The advice has helped tremendously from everyone.

XxX

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