Residual binges ?!!??

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Leebird's picture
Residual binges ?!!??

Ok so I am doing pretty well
It's been over 6months since I last purged (wow) can't even believe that myself , I've come so far..
But I am still binging ! Regularly . And it's seriously starting to piss me off !
I think I'm doing everything right
Structured eating
Eating enough , eating protien + carbs + fat
I have worked through all of my old 'food rules'
I never restrict
I eat what ever I want for my 3 meals 3 snacks
I eat mindfully most of the time
What am I missing here?
Y am I still binging?
I know it's because of the mind binge urges
My old habits
I just can't seem to separate myself from my urges when they hit me ?
They don't even give me a chance to decide if I want to binge or not because before I know it I've already started .
The longest I went without binging was 3 1/2 weeks so close to a month grrrrr
But now it's back to about once a week at least
I'm not even worried about putting on weight or anything I've worked through all of that's taken years but I have I'm fine with whatever happens as long as I can beat this bulimia
I'm just really frustrated right now , I binged today and it just came from nowhere !
I can get over these binges pretty fast now tho and they are in no way as bad as before I stopped purging
So I no I have done well , but how many times can u get back up and start again it just get so tiring and it gets pretty hard to convince yourself that it was the last time ....
Please has anyone got some advice about this ? I'm tired :(

Leila x

HopefulGirl's picture
I totally relate to hoe you

I totally relate to hoe you feel. It´s overwhelming and scary to see yourself caught in a binge without even having had the chance to do anything about it. But I guess that as long as we realize and are able to stop half way, and at least, do not purge, we are making progress.
Even if we slip, and purge in some way, we shouldn´t lose sight of the fact we are in recovery. We can do this, and our will to live and overcome this eating disorder will prevail.
In my case, I noticed that if I stay too much alone in my apartment when I feel sad or stressed or anxious, I tend to binge, so I try to make plans to be outdoors, whereas it is to go for a run, go to the movies, go to Church, or take a walk. Anything that keeps me off the temptation when I´m vulnerable.
It would be good for you to try to see what the dangerous situations are for you and find a way to be prepared for them in advance.
Good luck to you!!!


Angel333's picture
Firstly - congratulations on

Firstly - congratulations on overcoming the purges - 6 months is amazing and you sound like you are doing really well with the body image and food rules that come with it. So well done, give yourself some credit where it is due because 6 months into recovery isn't that long and it can take people years if not a lifetime to be accepting of themselves and silly rules.

So your struggling with the binging. Well you WILL get there. Your still really early onto recovery, you have mastered most things. The binges as with the purges will subside in time. If you keep working at it. they will gradually reduce, and just like with the purging, don't give up if you slip and binge again...just carry on as normal and keep with it. Judging by how fantastic you are getting on so far, I have full faith that you can overcome the binges.

Maybe try reading your favourite recovery books again, focusing on the binge chapters. Study the binge urge diffusions techniques.
Identify the times/places/days that cause you to binge. Is there a pattern?? Come up with a plan of things to do if your in this situation again. You say your binges are not as bad as before...well there is your proof that whatever you have been doing is working. So keep at it! You almost have this mastered. Well done :)

'We are each of us angels with only one wing, so we can only fly by embracing each other'

Rose16841's picture
Hey :) I agree with what's

Hey :) I agree with what's been said above....i think the key is to notice the patterns and tune into why and when you have these binges and take it from there. One you are more mindful and aware it will be easier to overcome them :)
I know that for me I used to sometime binge out of habit.....I didn't even have an urge. But once I started to challenge those behaviours and replace them with other activities I could get on top of it better :)
Totally frustrating I know...... but you will get there :) and massive congrats on being urge free. That's awesome!

Leebird's picture
Thanks you guys so much for

Thanks you guys so much for your comments
It's been a week now since this post and no binges ! Yay ! It may of helped that I was a bit out of my normal routine and was away for the weekend , I was able to really relax and just go with the flow
It's when I'm at work when I binge usually on the weekends when my stress is a bit higher ( I'm a chef ) so I'm with food all day and it's soooo hard
Well I guess I have identified the times, places and days I binge and there's a definite pattern
I just haven't quite got the hang of the mind binge urge diffusion techniques , I will re read that part of the e book ...again ... Have read it a lot lol , I also love brain over binge and have read that 3 or 4 times but maybe I will again
I also no that every month ' at that time of the month ' it gets hellishly hard and will usually end up binging for a few days straight .
I get really bad pms . I think this is common so anyone got any tips on this ?

Leila x

Ashleysb's picture
I was thinking about brain

I was thinking about brain over binge the whole time I was reading your post! It's amazing!
I was going to say the part about halfway through the book where she is talking about the binge purge habit really helped me halt my binges or at least think twice.
She says that when you continue to do something (like binge) the habit becomes stronger. For me, this was an eye opener. I thought, "So every time I allow my self to focus on the binge and engage in the binge I am just strengthening that pathway!!!" I don't know if that is helpful or motivating but it was for me!
Also, sometimes I feel like I binged because I ate more than I had originally planned for that day (I'm still on SE and pre make my meals). But if I take a step back (or discuss what I ate with my boyfriend) I can see that from an outside persons view eating some extra stuff is pretty normal and maybe they wouldn't view it as a binge.
What I'm trying to say by that is maybe sometimes (not always) your "binges" are not binges you just see them that way because you have been trained to beware of those things. If you think about it, A lot of people without eating disorders eat things just because they want to but they don't call it a binge! Although if you are feeling out of control then I guess that would be a binge.. Don't be frustrated though! your story is still powerful and inspiring to people like me so good job and keep trying :)

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