self distruct

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EmilyRose26
EmilyRose26's picture
self distruct

I do not know why I keep doing this to myself.. since I was 13 I have been bullemic ranging from severe to very mild... but it never fully goes away.... worst part is I've always been very small due to severe restriction and throwing up and if i ever felt Id eaten too much I would go mental and grab whatever junk I could find and then go and throw it all up... I've been through a rehab type place for it and as a result gained like 3 stone... making me even more low.. Im really starting to lose it now.. the healthy way... but jsut the past few days.. when im in the hosue on my own and im feeling vulnerable or down it jsut happens... I want a cheeky treat then feel guilty and eat whatever Ican find. I'm not even hungry Ijust want to eat junk and then be sick.. I am so mad at myself because I feel like Im lettign myself down and Im terrifeid of going down that road again... seriously is there someone out htere who feels like I do?? I jsut need someone to talk to.

freakyblonde88
freakyblonde88's picture
I understand how you feel, I

I understand how you feel, I rarely have those days anymore, but I really do get it, I still have those days once in a while... Feel free to talk to me if you need to.. ;-) *Hugs*

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