Thank you and Good Luck everyone :)

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Jemima
Jemima's picture
Thank you and Good Luck everyone :)

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone on this forum, and especially to the creators of it. I haven't logged on in months but when I logged on today I realised I joined December 2013, around the time I was binging/purging several times per day, feeling absolutely miserable, out of control, afraid and guilty- always guilty!

I looked for help via the internet, as I had tried counselling and I didn't feel like I had many underlying issues to resolve. This website really helped me with the thought diffusion and structured eating. I am not sure what happened exactly, but it's like I just forgot that bulimia was even a thing in my life and it just sort of fell away. I haven't purged in months now, and occasionally when I have done it's been a one off, and not the start of a whole heap of binges/purges like previously.

I still have triggers and the urges, but now they are so weak that I quickly get over them. They're like a vague thought that I could go and binge/purge but then it's like I can't be bothered, it just seems pointless and a waste of time.

I never thought I would get to this place that I'm in now. I mean, I'm 27 and I've been battling with disordered eating for 13 years! Food is just food now. I eat healthily, and have my "fat days" like everyone else, but on the whole I feel so much better. My brain is clearer, and I have more time for living (as corny as that sounds!).

If there's one piece of advice I can give, it's that you have to take things day by day and not beat yourself up. Guilt is what spurred me off into a binge session. If I didn't feel like going to the gym, I would binge and purge to fill in the time I would normally go to the gym instead of resting etc. Just give yourself a break! I also reduced the amount of sugar I was eating (I was previously eating around 10 pieces of fruit a day!) and my hunger signals became more regulated and stable.

I didn't put on any weight, in fact I lost a couple of kgs, and people commented that I lost weight probably because my face was less puffy. My hair has grown like crazy, and my skin is glowing!

Stick with it, it's not easy to break the habit, but it is 100% worth it in the end. You are much much stronger than you think, and you are all worth so much more than you give yourselves credit for. We kid ourselves that binging/purging makes ourselves feel better. It will slowly erode your self worth and self esteem, and you are better than that! Hiccups are inevitable- but remember two steps forward, one step back.

If I can do it, anyone can. Truly :)

Good luck all you wonderful people
xxx

Jemima

Chally
Chally's picture
Thanks for your post. I took

Thanks for your post. I took a step back and relapsed 2 nights ago and have been sitting in a lot of guilt and shame, feeling hopeless but your message has inspired me and I really relate about what you said about the gym. Thank you!

Chally

Beautiful smile
Beautiful smile's picture
So inspiring, thanks very

So inspiring, thanks very much for your share!

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