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Kare's picture

The last thing I ever thought I would do is try and be a 'normal' eater again. For the past many years I have told myself that I am not normal, I am a compulsive over eater, I have this problem for life and I need to cut out all of my trigger foods- for good.

Thank God I signed up to this website. What a mind changing experience in under one week.

Thoughts I have rid from my head:
1) Today is Day1 - I will never binge again.
2) I cannot eat any of my trigger foods and if I do I will start over tomorrow.
3) I need to lose weight fast.
4) I need to fit into size 4 jeans.
5) I am worthless, a hopeless case.
6) I will never be a normal eater.
7) I will never recover.

Instead I now think:
1) Today is another day in recovery.
2) I will learn to eat my trigger foods in moderation and we only have this moment.
3) I need to treat my body kindly and make sure it is getting all of the nutrients it needs.
4) My goal is a healthy mind, the weight can wait!
5) I am hopeful, I am deserving of a happy life full of self-love.
6) I am on my way to eating intuitively.
7) I am recovering.

As the handbook suggests, if need be I do not need to add trigger foods to my structured eating until I feel ready to do so. The handbook also suggests that I eat two things a day that I WANT to eat instead of just feeling like I NEED to eat. I have decided to put two trigger foods into my daily structured eating plan. Today went very well. I will try it again tomorrow with the realization that progress and perfection does not exist. Time will tell if this will work for me and if not then I will pull back a little and just do structured eating with zero trigger foods.

Today was the first day that I looked at trigger foods differently. I was not scared of them, I wanted them, they were part of my plan, but I did not want more than what I had set aside for myself. After I ate them I felt satisfied and full. There is a little guilt and negative thinking too but that will cease to exist in time. Binges will cease to exist the longer I keep up structured eating.

Trigger foods are no longer my trigger foods. They are food, just like the rest of food. They will be eaten in a structured fashion just like the rest of the food I eat and in time I will learn to eat intuitively.



jennij421's picture
Kare, What a great post. I


What a great post. I can relate so much to all of what you are saying. I look at your "old" thinking list and realize that I am still thinking that way some of the time and looking at your "new" thinking list and realizing I definitely need to start thinking more like that! I have seen a gradual progression from the old to the new and it excites me!

I am so proud for you that your are making this amazing transition and moving towards a better, more fulfilled life! Keep up the positive thinking and take it one day at a time! I have no doubt you are well on your way to a better life!


Kare's picture
Hey Jenni, I am glad you

Hey Jenni,

I am glad you could relate to my post :)

Thank you for your support!


LeaLea's picture
Hi, Kare! I'm glad you are

Hi, Kare!

I'm glad you are putting things into perspective and getting a grasp on a few good points to set you straight on your recovery road. You have some inspiring thinking, but it also takes courage to put those thoughts on paper. It becomes very real that way and very confronting, pushing u.s that extra bit to take the plunge and go for it. Well done with these words, it's a good push for the rest of us, too, so thank you!


Kare's picture
Thank you for your comment

Thank you for your comment Lea. Yes, writing for me has become therapeutic and it also helps me realize things I probably would not have realized without writing. It is also relaxing and a way to let go of thoughts and distress. Thanks again :)


sanjogkaur's picture
Thank you for this post! It's

Thank you for this post!

It's weird how bulimia makes us think so many crazy things. Reading them, all if them sound crazy...! It's god we can read then and from there try to transform them.

I've being trying to add trigger foods in my plan, and I've succeeded in some bit not all of them. I guess I have to give it some time.

Thanks for the inspiration :)


Kare's picture
Yes Natalia, it is important

Yes Natalia, it is important to take time and not push ourselves too hard. I remember jumping right into eating all my trigger foods and it lead to a few unwanted binges. I now plan my trigger foods in advance making sure that I do not have more than I need in the house so that I am not tempted to continue eating. It takes time. It will take many relapses until our full recovery, but the beauty is that we are already in recovery, we are safe, we are trying and will will not give up! :)


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