The last thing I ever thought I would do is try and be a 'normal' eater again. For the past many years I have told myself that I am not normal, I am a compulsive over eater, I have this problem for life and I need to cut out all of my trigger foods- for good.
Thank God I signed up to this website. What a mind changing experience in under one week.
Thoughts I have rid from my head:
1) Today is Day1 - I will never binge again.
2) I cannot eat any of my trigger foods and if I do I will start over tomorrow.
3) I need to lose weight fast.
4) I need to fit into size 4 jeans.
5) I am worthless, a hopeless case.
6) I will never be a normal eater.
7) I will never recover.
THE LIST GOES ON.
Instead I now think:
1) Today is another day in recovery.
2) I will learn to eat my trigger foods in moderation and we only have this moment.
3) I need to treat my body kindly and make sure it is getting all of the nutrients it needs.
4) My goal is a healthy mind, the weight can wait!
5) I am hopeful, I am deserving of a happy life full of self-love.
6) I am on my way to eating intuitively.
7) I am recovering.
THE LIST GOES ON.
As the handbook suggests, if need be I do not need to add trigger foods to my structured eating until I feel ready to do so. The handbook also suggests that I eat two things a day that I WANT to eat instead of just feeling like I NEED to eat. I have decided to put two trigger foods into my daily structured eating plan. Today went very well. I will try it again tomorrow with the realization that progress and perfection does not exist. Time will tell if this will work for me and if not then I will pull back a little and just do structured eating with zero trigger foods.
Today was the first day that I looked at trigger foods differently. I was not scared of them, I wanted them, they were part of my plan, but I did not want more than what I had set aside for myself. After I ate them I felt satisfied and full. There is a little guilt and negative thinking too but that will cease to exist in time. Binges will cease to exist the longer I keep up structured eating.
Trigger foods are no longer my trigger foods. They are food, just like the rest of food. They will be eaten in a structured fashion just like the rest of the food I eat and in time I will learn to eat intuitively.