Understanding eating and not eating

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Mouli
Mouli's picture
Understanding eating and not eating

Am I right in thinking this?? I would appreciate your thoughts and experiences. I am following SE still and occasionally I will notice I am extra hunggry for whatever reason and may act on it but I sit and wonder. Why are there people who don't have much of an appetite and eat like birds, not really fazed with food and are obviously super skinny/slim. Why don't they then suffer with a binge and a purge. Sometimes when I am going through my own recovery I will think, ok I am not super hungry so better not to eat at my SE time but hten I say to myself, no, but you HAVE to because if you don't it will LEAD to a binge for me. Because, I am recovering from Bullimia, because not eating doesn't work for me. I want to understand why it works for others but not for me? Am I actually making ANY sense????

Tania
Tania's picture
Hi dear, I think you make a

Hi dear, I think you make a lot of sense.. It seems we have to accept this as being one of the millions of differences of the humankind I guess: someone has a strong appetite, someone else is just fine with a couple of mouthful (needless to say how much I envy them!).
I strongly believe that I wasn't born with bulimia and that bulimia was not written in my genes, but that I developed it as a coping mechanism that my mind discovered and found (in its own awuful way) "useful" to get me through life. The fact that I don't need it any more but that it's now so bloody difficult to get rid off it is a different story, as now there are patterns of half a life to replace..
The more I read and observe what's going on around me with food, the more I believe the way we relate to food is a fine line between the way we were born (our methabolism, body mass, yes genetics etc.) and the way we were raised - in the end one of the skills we develop since our early days (maybe even breast feeding and all). I don't know, I am maybe just writing nonsense! In the end, the effort I am making is to approach my recovery with a simple mind: "Tania, stop asking why and try to work with what you've got..". Not eating is just not working for us. It may work for others (I see my life partner eating one meal a day and being just amazingly fine, while if I don't stick religiously to SE I completely lose control of myself in less than 3 hours..). Maybe we were born with a bird appetite ourselves too, and we just screw it by using food to cope with something else and now we find it impossible to go back to that. Or maybe our body, mind, soul simply needs more energy to function and that's the way it is because that's the way we are... What we know now is that we got here because of a bloody diet or restrictive period we forced ourselves through. And we completely messed our system up. Who knows: maybe by finding a new balance we may discover in future that we naturally would eat like birds too, without any thought or need to restrict? (I doubt that this applies to me, but with recovery everything is possible.. :-)

Mouli
Mouli's picture
Oh Tania, thank you!What you

Oh Tania, thank you!What you wrote makes sense and clarified a few things in my own mind. I get so caught up I don't even know WHAT I amthinking and confuse myself. You are right in alot of what you said. Thanks lovely lady and hope all is going well for you! m xxx

ChangingSpiritBW
ChangingSpiritBW's picture
I don't know if you are right

I don't know if you are right or wrong, I don't ever know I'f Im right or wrong, much less someone else. I think, my opinion, that why? is highly overrated in then english language, How? is probably more important. God I hate myself today, but I

Bryan Wagner

ChangingSpiritBW
ChangingSpiritBW's picture
Part Two, Still hitting wrong

Part Two,
Still hitting wrong keys!
I will continue to persevere!
I

Bryan Wagner

Mouli
Mouli's picture
Hey Bryan, don't be so hard

Hey Bryan, don't be so hard on yourself! Continue to pesrervere, that is the key, good luck!!!

pocahontas
pocahontas's picture
I totally agree with Tania,

I totally agree with Tania, its just crazy how different we all are! Twins, girls that have one parent from Asia, and meditaranian girls often seem to be like you described. Not all of them off course, and many more than just those girls have low appertite. Just showes that there are much genetics involved here, and that we are borned as very different individuals concerning food among everything else.. I have to underline that hoping to be one of those low-appertizes girls, and therefore be underweight, probably wont be an option for any of us. We simply have to re-learn how to eat, and hoping to become one of "those" after so much time with the exstreme opposite, is off course a very appealing thought! But I dont think that its a realistic goel or even a healthy one.. we simply have to focus on eating enough, and re-bulid our natural and healthy appertite and metabolism, whatever that turnes out to be.. But I do understand your post! And its a very interesting thought that ive discussed a lot with my roomie. Who, for the record, is a girl I THOUGHT just had a very natural bad appertite, but who turned out to be a recovering anorectic.. I just didnt know before I moved in with her.. so guess thats also an option.. :)

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