What feelings?

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JoBlogs
JoBlogs's picture
What feelings?

When I started out 2.5yrs ago on this journey to discover why I've been on a never ending ride of depression I never guessed it would lead here.

One of the things I have discovered I struggle with is labelling emotions.
I thought I could do it, but now I know anger. I think I may be learning about grief. Anxiety is getting easier to recognise but most other emotions are tough. Many of them I haven't allowed myself to feel for so many years, I think they may also be numbed down by the Meds...

Does anyone else find this tricky or relearnt what emotions are? I don't even really feel love for my family, I can't remember what it feels like?

Is it possible that I can recover these emotions?

Jo
xxx

Catherine Liberty
Catherine Liberty's picture
Hi Jo! I really do think it

Hi Jo!

I really do think it is possible to recover and learn how to feel those emotions again in time. Just like you I learned how to understand and recognise anxious feelings at first, but awakening those loveing feelings does take time.

I always presumed I loved my friends and family, because that's what we're supposed to do, but looking back I now know that I never really felt love until I was way into recovery.

I always thought it was so cheesy when people said "to love others you have to first love yourself" but that is something that really started to make sense in recovery. As I progressed and started to acknowledge my recovery achievements in ways I learned how to self-love and that, for me, was the key to tapping into that love for others.

I think meds can have that numbing effect on all emotions, do you still take meds, will that be a long term thing for you?

Allowing those emotions in takes time, but once you realize that they can't hurt you, and once you learn that you are strong enough to feel them without needing to act on them it does start getting easier.

take care lovely,

Catherine x

alyh2o
alyh2o's picture
Hi Jo, I just joined and saw

Hi Jo,
I just joined and saw your post both about feelings and your b/p's for the day. I'm sending you prayers for strength and self-forgiveness. I had an experience the other day that felt oddly wonderful. I had a bad day and....for the first time, it had nothing to do with eating, bingeing or purging. It simply was a sucky day and it felt so liberating to finally feel pissed about something other than my eating failures! I am learning to feel and allow the emotion flow through me without running home to stuff myself into numbness. I'm always here if you need to vent or question the new feelings that we all go through as we fight for our life.

alyh2o

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