Why are we more comfortable telling strangers?

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Mickey
Mickey's picture
Why are we more comfortable telling strangers?

I noticed I can't bare to tell anyone close to me about my eating issues. Yet, I feel more secure about telling strangers everything. Why is that? I can't pinpoint why people feel more comfortable with strangers... Is it because if I tell my best friends, I'm afraid they're actually going to do something to help, and I'm not ready for that? How about if I tell them and they judge me, it'll bother me more because they matter more to me?

Why do you guys think people are so much more comfortable with strangers knowing their most private issues, than their closes friends/family?

xlaurenxbrulex
xlaurenxbrulex's picture
everything is temporary

Mickey,
I think that a lot of people feel this way, I know I do at least. I have lightly pondered upon this lingering factor for the past 6 years of my stuggles and the conclution that I have come to is that everything temporary. With bulimia everything is temporary, it is an effort to escape the vortex of 'broken record thinking'.
So, to answer your question, we tell people who know little to nothing about us so we can get the issue off of our chest without any long term commitment.
Think of it as a "binge" of overwhelming thoughs, and then you "purge" to someone who you know probably won't care too much.
Although it does feel good to tell someone that you are unformiliar with, try to not use this resource too much. Think of it as gossiping about your eating disorder, you are disattaching yourself from it by laying it someone else for a short amount of time. But the more that you do it, the more your bulimia becomes habbitual.

I hope that these thoughts can help you, Mickey.
keep strong,
Lauren

horsebacklover2
horsebacklover2's picture
BC we are not STRANGERS!!! i

BC we are not STRANGERS!!! i dont know even though we are its like we are not, sharing this makes me feel like in away i know people because we share this. i dont think "straqngers" is the right term.. ! just new people!

dee, horsebackgirl

lottierose
lottierose's picture
hey, yeah i know what your

hey, yeah i know what your saying, but i agree with the above comments. People on this site actually understand what were going through, so theres no worry about being judged. The people that are close to us are going to want to help, but they don't really understand so how could they?

When the people in my family found out about my eating disorder, all i got was negative comments like 'why were you so stupid to let this happen?' It's not like i chose to be bulimic!

Anyways, people here can relate to me, so thats why i like it.
Lottie x

erind
erind's picture
i agree Lottie! i wanted to

i agree Lottie! i wanted to share and heal with people who can understand exactly what i am going through because i think it will be my only means to succeeding.

we all possess such similar thoughts, feeling and behaviors. it only makes sense that we feel we can truly confide, learn and share from one another. fear and shame are also obvious reasons why we don't tell our loved ones. we don't know how they will react, and don't want to hurt them with our self-destructive problem.

sharing here also gives us space, allows us to feel connected to a community, and lets us preserve our individual healing needs all at the same time. we talk, comment and reveal when we feel ready and/or compelled. the people that are physically around us do not cater to us in this way. they are there, and we can't control what they will say or do in regards to our ED. of course the people around us and care about us would want to help, but i really don't think they know how to act or what to say to some one who is bulimic. everyone needs to recover at their own pace and at their own discretion. i am so happy to have found this site. it is such an outlet for me, and a such a healthy one at that. sitting here, reading and writing is another way for me to avoid a b/p session. good luck girls. it brings me comfort in knowing we all have each other, i hope it does the same for you.

erin

catdohols
catdohols's picture
I agree

I agree with all of the above.
I told my closest friend and now i feel like whenever im around food she is judging me. i cant tell her anything because i know she will think what i do is gross (cuz it is) but here, where everyone knows what we're going through it is so easy to share our feelings and thoughts
~C

horsebacklover2
horsebacklover2's picture
I agree with lottie and

I agree with lottie and above. we are so not strangers, we are all more than that. i think bc of how much this takes out of our lives its becomes this connecting force to everyone here,

dee, horsebackgirl

groovy chick
groovy chick's picture
I definitely feel that as

I definitely feel that as strangers have a lack of knowledge in regards to my personality and general background, they will have fewer preconceptions and judgements in relation to my eating disorder.

Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.

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