Why did your bulimia start? and Do you think it matters?

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Mandi88's picture
Why did your bulimia start? and Do you think it matters?

I ask myself this all the time...I know why it started when I was 14 but I was better from like ages 20-24 and then relapsed until now (a year and a half or so). I tried to understand why this happened to me... I miss eating like a normal person. It was great to be free of an eating disorder for so many years (without even really trying).

Do you think you know the cause of your ED?

Do you think it even matters to know the cause or to just deal with the symptoms?


becks23's picture
I think it's important if it

I think it's important if it was a traumatic event that triggered an eating disorder as a response because working through the trauma may help bring relief from the eating disorder. I don't know what caused my eating disorder, I have a great life, all I know is I can track it back to when I was 7 and had an eating contest with my uncle and won it. I was anorexic until I was 17 but never let it go too far for worry, I was just assumed to be tall and thin, and then when my parents actually started getting worried I began eating larger dinners and purging them which turned into "I can eat whatever I want and just throw it up" which has led to HUGE b/ps daily for the past year or more.

groovy chick
groovy chick's picture
I think the root of my

I think the root of my bulimia lies in my childhood. I recall being made to sit at the table to finish my dinner, while everyone else was allowed to go off and do their own thing. I occasionally ate the food, but more frequently resorted to hiding the food in tissue and throwing it away. I do not think that my father was doing this to be malicious, rather showing he cared through concern. Unfortunately, it has led to negative behaviours (of which he is currently unaware).

I do think it is important to know the root cause as it gives you a starting point from which to guide your recovery. If you have an idea of where it began, then you can begin to progress from that point onwards.

Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.

stellaluna's picture
I honestly don't want to

I honestly don't want to admit it, but I can pin point my bulimia directly to my parent's divorce and my dad traveling for work all the time and moving out of the house simultaneously, all while my mom was seeing another man behind my dad's back.

freakyblonde88's picture
I don't know if I think the

I don't know if I think the reason is started is as important as just moving on... I know a lot of mean comments and behaviour by ex-boyfriends, and being a bit chubby when I was younger. When I naturally lost weight, I got soooo many positive comments about it. And I loved it, but the comments led me to think.. "Was I then not hot, or pretty the way I was before?"
My X used to grab any junk food, be a a piece of chocolate or what have you, away from me and told me "you don't need that"... And it all started about three months after we broke up, when I was 18.... It could be so many things, but when I think about it, It's all the comment that stick, and that I still remember...(I won't post them, it's enough that i got them at me without anyone else having to hear them.)

On a brighter note, my present bf is the most wonderful man in the world, and has NEVER said a negative commet about me.. :-)

Life is too short to not be happy

Catherine Liberty
Catherine Liberty's picture
I don't know my reasons

I can't pinpoint anything. All I know is that I was always scared of life, afraid, timid, uncomfortable socialising even though I can be around people without them realising. I think it came from everything about me, all of my insecurities. It gave me a way to deal with things that I've never had before.

I always overate as a child (even as a baby) to comfort, I starved myself around the age of 13 and my bulimia started at 14 and continued for ten and a half years. x x

runchick's picture
my anorexia started aged 14,

my anorexia started aged 14, then recovered by age 19- 20 and the bulimia started just before i turned 21. i'm convinced as well as certain emotional stresses i experienced that hormones play a role. i was put on the pill cos my oestrogen levels never picked up after the anorexia stopped them. the bulimia started soon after. even tho i stopped the pill my oestrogen levels still stayed up. i think part of the reason EDs hit in the teens is the hormones x:)

Cherry Chapstick
Cherry Chapstick's picture

I had always been fit till I was in a riding accident and couldn't walk barely at all for several months. I gained some weight & I started slowly (healthily) losing it once I could exercize again. The weight never bothered me until I started dating my boyfriend and he told me my stomach was not as attractive (flat) as his ex girlfriends. I guess I was scared I would lose him if I wasn't hot enough. So I started purging & working out all the time, lost some weight, but he still kept talking about how hot other girls were, so I just ate as little as possible. That turned into anorexia. I got so skinny I started passing out a couple times a day, then he started trying to get me to eat but I couldn't cause I thought he'd hate me if I gained weight. It kept getting worse and my doctor made my mom pull me out of college & move back home with her.

I broke up with the bf and gained weight back, but started binging/purging, why I don't know. Probably stress. I'm average sized again but I can't quit the b/p cycle.
Got back with the bf in January, he now knows about my eating issues. Things are better then before, but a week ago he started monitering my food intake & hinting that I should lose weight, nicely though.
I'm sooo stressing about it. My weight is in the healthy range for my height, but he likes the "hollywood look". I want to be healthy && ed-free, but I love him && want him to find me attractive....gettting ripped in two. The things we do for love :P

-baby steps-

Mandi88's picture
I know why mine

I know why mine started...back when I was 14 but I am not sure why I relapsed. I relapsed for the first time in June 2008 after being super stressed out from work. I had so much anxiety...I felt so uncomfortable in my new work environment...and we had tons of left over whip cream in the fridge that I had been dying to have but had been restricting myself. I had started watching my diet more and more carefully since I'd gotten married and also now had to deal with there being food in the house all the time (when I was single, i rarely had food in the house). From that point on my ED slowly started coming back...I'd b/p first only if I was drunk...then once a month, then once every 2 weeks etc. I didn't manage to stop it. I am trying to figure out now why it started again...I hope I can find the deeper cause that can lead me out of this.


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