Hi, so today I noticed something really cool that got me thinking about the Physical and Psychological changes I've been going through since starting recovery.
Here is a list of 23 changes I have noticed since starting recovery...
1. For the past couple of days I have been feeling taller, so today I decided to measure myself. As it turns out I measure about an inch taller than I used to be a few months ago (I measured my height in the summer just because I was curious).
My height hasnt changed since I was sixteen, 3 years ago. Some of my pants are shorter too. I have every reason to believe that this is because of my recovery, I have been abusing my body since I was 12 (7 years!!!)and all through the time i was supposed to be growing, could this have stunted my growth?!? other awesome things I've noticed over the past 2 months:
2. My nails grow longer and stronger and dont have those weird vertical ridges in them anymore and I dont bite them (a habit I have been trying to break for years).
3. My hair grows faster, is shinier and healthier and even dries WAY faster (especially at the roots).
4. I dont have those little cracks at the corner of my mouth anymore
5. My skin isnt as dry
6. I did gain some recovery weight, but its distributing itself differently, is more even and compliments my curves.
Its different from the weight I've been holding onto for all of these years as a result of my ED.
7. My workouts are no longer exhausting, they're fun.
I can handle more and it takes less time to recover.
8. I am no longer exhausted throughout the day.
I focus better in school and am even doing better.
9. Since all of my time isnt spent b/ping, excercising or counting calories. I have more time to do other things!
Playing guitar, reading, going out with friends...even doing homework is more fun than b/ping!
10. I fall asleep faster (I used to have intense insomnia)
11. I crave healthier foods.
I crave fruits and veggies and ALWAYS crave milk! Before I used to have to force feed myself veggies and I never drank milk.
12. I no longer worry about the little stupid things, when something bad/weird happens i can usually just shrug it off and stay calm.
13. I am SO much nicer to my poor family, I no longer snap at them.
14. I am more organized.
My stuff doesnt lie all over the place, my day is planned out and I actually do the things i planned to do.
15. My memory has improved.
Poor memory can be a symptom of potassium deficiency
16. I am starting to actually feel my emotions now, good and bad.
I am still trying to figure out how to deal with them since I cant use food anymore!
17. I am less anxious.
I used to be SO shy and was always anxious. This still happens to me but not nearly as much as it used to. I find that I can stay calm in situations that would have previously made me panic/hyperventilate.
18. My digestion is changing.
I used to be lactose intolerant, that has now completley gone away.
19. I am learning to forgive myself.
When I make a mistake, I learn from it and move on, rather than dwelling on it and thinking how stupid I must be. I can easily forgive myself for things that I have done, and have stopped blaming myself for things that arent my fault.
20. I smile ALL of the time.
I cant stop smiling :) I laugh more, at stupid things. you know when your by yourself and think of something stupid... and you cant help but laugh/smile and you feel totally retarded but its so awesome.
21. Control is no longer an issue.
I dont have to waste my time trying to control every little aspect of my life (food, weight ect.) these things just fall into place now, with very little effort on my part.
22. Most importantly, I have taken a complete 180 as to how I think of myself.
I used to feel guilty about everything! I used to feel that I was incompetent and could not do anything. Now, when faced with a challenging situation, I automatically believe that I am capable of doing it.
23. I also see others in a different light...
I notice the beautiful people around me, how awesome they are! My family, my friends! They have wonderful personalities and I was so absorbed with myself that I was unable to recognize just how sweet they really are. I cant believe all of the things I have been missing out on.
I feel like my life is just beginning. You see people, there's more to life than obsessing about food/weight, comparing yourself to others, only to wind up feeling incompetent and depressed. There is more to life beyond the four walls of my dark bedroom, beyond the kitchen and the bathroom. There is a life waiting for you and man, you have to get out there.
"I have been a member of Bulimia Help for over a year now. I have had tremendous success with it. I truly cannot express how much of a lifesaver the program has been for me".
"I have never looked back. I have been free from bulimia and all food issues ever since. So now I have to help others do the same!".
"I cant stop smiling :) I laugh more, at stupid things. You know when your by yourself and think of something stupid... and you cant help but laugh/smile and you feel totally retarded but its so awesome". Read more
"I would recommend it to anyone and everyone who is suffering from the awful effects of bulimia and believes they deserve a better life".
"The first step I took to getting my eating under control was to ensure I was eating regularly throughout the day".
"I’m writing to you all with the biggest smile on my face - seriously, my face is starting to hurt from all the happiness and excitement. Today is my two year “recovery anniversary".
"In the last few months I feel like I have gained hours of my day and the freedom to just relax and be a fully participating member of my life again!! I had forgotten what it felt like".
"Instead of having to spend my time whenever I am alone bingeing and purging I do a lot of other things. I paint, play with my dog, go hiking, play basketball".
"It still amazes me that I am no longer bulimic and have been that way for almost 11 months".
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